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You Know You Are An Old Catholic If….

 

1. You still think the secret problem of priests is alcoholism.

2. You remember when Nuns wore habits.

3. You think "No meat on Fridays" has nothing to do with oral sex.

4. You remember the days of altar boys instead of altered boys.

5. You think "Mother Superior" is more than a term of hooker endearment.

6. You think the primacy of Peter had nothing to do Lorena Bobbit.

7. You answer "Yes" to both "Does a bear eat in the woods?," and "Is the Pope Italian?"

8. You remember the days when confessions did NOT start out with "You have the right to remain silent."

9. You think a man dressed in black was not a member of the SWAT team.

10. You remember when kneelers were in church, not in the Oval Office.

11. You remember when Cardinals were birds of pray, not prey.

12. You remember the days before Bingo was made a sacrament.

13. You remember when "Love one another" did not mean "Orgy Time!"

14. You remember when Amazing Grace was not the name of every tenth stripper.

15. You remember when "Father" was a religious title, not the results of a court-ordered DNA test.

16. You remember when "Mother" was also a religious title, not the first (shortened) name of really bad people .

17. You remember when you could get out of trouble with God just by saying three "Hail Mary's."

 

 

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Date Site Last Updated: 6th August 2011