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What All Texans Know

Hey Y'all,

Here's what all Texans know. If you're not a real Texan, then you're in for an education.

• Armadillos traditionally sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

• There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

• There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

• Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.

• If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

• Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

• There are valid reasons why some people put razor wire around their house.

• A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

• The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 'til June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.

• Onced and twiced are words.

• Coldbeer is one word.

• People actually grow and eat okra.

• Green grass DOES burn.

• When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

• The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

• When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

• "Fixin-to" is one word.

• There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.

• "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.

• "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.

• "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

• You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.

• You measure distance in minutes or hours.

• You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

• Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

• You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-Mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.

• You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

• You carry jumper cables for your own car.

• You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

• You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.

• You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

• Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

• The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

• The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

• You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

• You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

• All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

• Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal- Martin" or "off to Wally-world."

• You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.

• A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.

 

 

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Date Site Last Updated: 6th August 2011