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Man Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
   A. Lovemaking
   B. Screwing
   C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
   B. Your blood-test results.
   C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
   A. Your partner climaxes first.
   B. You both climax simultaneously.
   C. You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   A. Healthy, creative love-play.
   B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
   C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   A. The best part of the experience.
   B. The second best part of the experience.
   C. $100 extra.

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
   A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her.
   B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
   C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   A. A myth
   B. An oxymoron
   C. A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
   A. Appetizer is to entree.
   B. Primer is to paint.
   C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   A. "I hope we can still be friends."
   B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
   C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
    B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
    C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Your Results:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"

 

 

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Date Site Last Updated: 6th August 2011